What Not to Wear (times 5)

My daughter Hannah is a perfectionist. I am not saying that she is a perfectionist in every aspect of her life. A quick look at state of her bedroom floor will confirm that she is less than perfect when it comes to keeping her clothing in her drawers. But she is a perfectionist in anything relating to taste, art and appearances (that is, outside the home). This year she is a senior in high school and she decided she would like to attend a dance. She had many invitations to dances last year, and disappointed many would-be suitors. After receiving two invitations to prom last year, she made a general announcement to all who would hear that she would not be going to prom, period. And she received two more invitations after that.

But this year is different. It is her senior year, and she doesn't want to miss out on what remains of the high school experience. The first step was to get a boy to ask her. It couldn't just be any random boy; it had to be a boy of Hannah's choosing. Hannah chose a boy who has a very large group of guy friends and does not really have any girl-friends. Getting this boy to ask her to homecoming was going to be a little challenging, but Hannah gave herself a few weeks lead time during which time she talked him up daily between classes (they have several together), and generally wore him down with smiles and attention. After confirming no less than three times via his friends that she would say 'yes' if asked, the boy finally asked her in a most creative way. Driving home from school two weeks before the dance, a car pulled out in front of Hannah, cutting her off. A sign was taped to the back of the car saying, "FOLLOW US HANNAH" Out of the sunroof popped a boy holding a sign saying, "Homecoming?" Hannah followed the car to a RiteAid parking lot where, surrounded by a group of seven of the boy's friends, she was presented with a bouquet of flowers (this is more typical) and asked to the dance by the special boy. She replied "yes" enthusiastically.


Hannah was so sure she was going to get asked to the dance by the boy of her choosing, that she started shopping for her homecoming dress a week before she received the invitation. Wearing the perfect dress was as important as being on the arm of the perfect boy.


Dress # 1: On a Saturday afternoon, three weeks before the dance I dutifully accompanied Hannah to the mall and tromped through Macy's, Nordstroms, and several boutiques. We found the dress of her dreams at Cache. It was purple with some bling at the waistline. The problem was that this particular dress was also the dress of her sister Natalie's dreams. Natalie had purchased the same dress a few weeks earlier to wear to a wedding. But Hannah was sure that this was the only dress that would work for her and she would just make sure that she untagged herself in any photos of her wearing the dress that turned up on facebook. Natalie would never know.

Dress # 2: After receiving the invitation to the dance Hannah's ideas about what to wear were really starting to solidify. Upon arriving home from work one day, Hannah told me that she had returned Dress #1 and purchased a much better dress, and not only that, she had saved me $60. She modeled the dress for us and Gerard commented that she looked like an artichoke. I'm not sure if it was a rare case of a child listening to a parent's opinion, but it appears that his comment may have been the catalyst for her disenchantment with Dress # 2.


Dress # 3: We were now 1.5 weeks from the dance and the search for the dress accelerated. Hannah ordered a cream-colored dress online from Nordstrom using a gift card that she managed to talk Rachel into surrendering. Dress # 2 was returned to the local Nordstrom store.


Dress # 4: Under the guise of shopping for shoes, Hannah returned to the mall and purchased another cream-colored dress from a new store named Sasan. She used the remainder of her summer earnings as a camp counselor to pay for the dress. This dress was very fancy and also was was too big for Hannah and would require three major alterations. She left it at the store to be altered and planned to pick it up on the Wednesday before homecoming. She cancelled shipping on Dress # 3 with Nordstrom online.


(there were a few days of inactivity in the dress procuring department while she waited for Dress # 4 to be altered)


Dress # 5: Not unexpectedly at this point, the results of the alterations on Dress # 4 did not please Hannah. They had forgotten to take in the waist. She asked me to perform that alteration but was disappointed that I couldn't get to it before Friday. Hannah was starting to have doubts about Dress # 4 working out after all. On the day after she picked up the Dress # 4 from alterations, she brought home a dress from school lent to her by a friend. This was a dress the friend had purchased the previous Spring to wear to prom, but had not ended up wearing (hmmm ... sounds familiar). It was red and very striking but just a tad too tight on Hannah.

Dress # 6: On the day before homecoming, Hannah brought another potential dress home, lent to her by the owner of Dress # 5. This dress was blue, and matched Hannah's eye color. It was too big in the waist so Hannah took it in by hand. With one day to go, Hannah decided that this was The Dress.

Now that homecoming is over, all the dresses have been returned except for Dress # 4 (not pictured) which Hannah had to keep because she had it altered. She says she will wear that dress to prom. Right...